its over or is it just the beginning

ok. wow.
firstly, it rocks totally to have cts over. i shall blog frequently from now on. the next 2 weeks should be cool. ok firstly, now im freaking bored. but i have to mug somemore. MOREEE :( but fri ive got tution at like orchard. prolly gonna have awesome dinner yay! sucks to have a freaking huge uler la. everything cant enjoy. but yea, sat gonna be fun. gonna burn the morning away, and then wake up have lunch with eliz and leonard and then cip(read:slack) till 10 hahahhaa. awesome much huh? prolly i gna pon at 6 + and dinner somewhere good. hopefully ulcer'll be good by then. and then next week is like 3 days sch. 2 days hols. and then nats come. oh wow. sucks like shit. totally when im totalyl gonna be reserve only. dont you know how much ive always wanted to SHOOT nats. and not just go there. why cant the @#$%^ coach ever give me a chance. even when i was good, he didnt even give me a chance. oh wells, im going all out for NUSIS. yup.

and i still feel betrayed and lied to. why do i have this gut feeling that you actually felt angry when i said it. theres a part of me that believes that u wanted this as well, and thats why i went for it. i had the support of my friends and thats why i still went for it even if the odds were so damn low. i know he's just a friend to you so i dont really care, you can tell your parents for all you want. im gonna play a slow game. i tried the hot shot way. i failed. ill win this time. i always do. if i ever find out that i was betrayed, ill feel damn hurt and angry too. i know im losing you. somehow. someway. but im determined to get you back. wouldnt it be nice to have some1 to eat with, share secrets with, confide with, take care of, some1 closer than a friend?

and i so wanna cook man. i swear to god im gonna start finding recipes and cook. I WANT TO FREAKING COOK MY OWN MEALS AND AWESOME FOOOOOOD!!!!!

its dam late and im gonna rant and whine. im bored. very bored