Nationals are finally over

Its been a long time. Its over. We stuck together. We are one.

its over or is it just the beginning

ok. wow.
firstly, it rocks totally to have cts over. i shall blog frequently from now on. the next 2 weeks should be cool. ok firstly, now im freaking bored. but i have to mug somemore. MOREEE :( but fri ive got tution at like orchard. prolly gonna have awesome dinner yay! sucks to have a freaking huge uler la. everything cant enjoy. but yea, sat gonna be fun. gonna burn the morning away, and then wake up have lunch with eliz and leonard and then cip(read:slack) till 10 hahahhaa. awesome much huh? prolly i gna pon at 6 + and dinner somewhere good. hopefully ulcer'll be good by then. and then next week is like 3 days sch. 2 days hols. and then nats come. oh wow. sucks like shit. totally when im totalyl gonna be reserve only. dont you know how much ive always wanted to SHOOT nats. and not just go there. why cant the @#$%^ coach ever give me a chance. even when i was good, he didnt even give me a chance. oh wells, im going all out for NUSIS. yup.

and i still feel betrayed and lied to. why do i have this gut feeling that you actually felt angry when i said it. theres a part of me that believes that u wanted this as well, and thats why i went for it. i had the support of my friends and thats why i still went for it even if the odds were so damn low. i know he's just a friend to you so i dont really care, you can tell your parents for all you want. im gonna play a slow game. i tried the hot shot way. i failed. ill win this time. i always do. if i ever find out that i was betrayed, ill feel damn hurt and angry too. i know im losing you. somehow. someway. but im determined to get you back. wouldnt it be nice to have some1 to eat with, share secrets with, confide with, take care of, some1 closer than a friend?

and i so wanna cook man. i swear to god im gonna start finding recipes and cook. I WANT TO FREAKING COOK MY OWN MEALS AND AWESOME FOOOOOOD!!!!!

its dam late and im gonna rant and whine. im bored. very bored

CTs

whoa cts are here. in 12 hrs econs will be over zomg. its damn freaking fast. hols just flew over la ;/ no matter ill step up to the plate and give my best. i think ill do well la. must be confident right? cant go wrong la. and omg i just realized why im so lean with a low bmi with chest pains and diff breathing and like ill get sudden death? wth wth. oh wells, gna sleep early .nights

a new dawn a new beginning

CTs start tmr. and im still sleeping at like 2 am. although its earlier and earlier alr. frm like 430 to 3, 2.30, 2. oh wells, postive side, ive done about 90% mugging for almost all. give and take for various subs. negative side, im nt even done and not very confident. :( studies aside, ive been thinking alot about my shooting, and NUSIS has got to be my last, if im nt going for OPEN. i swear im giving my all, ill sacrifice slog whatever for it. i know u guyz want me to know my limits and not go too far to achieve my dream, i thank u for your concern, but i want to end my 6 years of shooting knowing ive given my all. i may not be the best or hit 500 again. but at least i wanna know ive really given my very best. hopefully physio will help together with taping. NUSIS my last my best my memory LAST BEST MEMORY! if i hit a PB however unlikely it may sound, its really the icing on the cake. i know theres no team prize coming cos its gonna be made up of junk ppl put together. no matter, i will push my limits.

ciao

tired

im feeling the toll of late nights alr. starting to fall sick and feeling weak >.< agggrh i needa hold on another month at least!

my earliest sleep in awhile now i think. cos leonard needs notes so bball tmr ^^

troubled and sad

for some reason, ive been forced to dig up my unhappy past. a sad one. the key to unlocking my future lies in my past i guess. i am who i am cos of those events. ive tried moving on, and it hasnt succeeded. The Fray-How to save a life is perhaps one song recently ive heard again that resembles me in a way. Im so addicted to I made it by kevin rudolf and jay sean and lil wayne and birdman. wow. i played it for one whole day of mugging. awesomez. dont i just dream about that too?

release

wow. awesome day. managed to excape the stupidness of my life by going for bday celeb! yup shant elaborate more! but it was way fun... ^^ new dawn, new beginning. physio and physics test tmr. aggrh. sure die la. my phy not even 10% covered. gna sleep now and wake early to mug like HELL!

bye world

Untitled

wow, what a week it's been. its been a long time since i blogged. my life's upside down since mid Sec 2, maybe its time i finally find the key to unlock my life. People always say ive been living a shadown of myself, and im much capable of better things, maybe they're right, cos at times when i really see myself pushing, i can do dam well. Wonder how ill be when im at my limits. But physically and mentally im not ready, My body's totally over burnt out, and mentally depressed. Im troubled by my relationships with people, school work shooting, and the ugliness of human nature. ok, i really needa sleep more to let my body recover, and my entire injured poor body heal. maybe ill decide not to be anti-social in school finally? like cheston and y'all say, its really actually a choice i made, cos when i reach safra, its goddamn obvious im dam sociable. and yea, maybe i shld just stop flirting about, maybe get serious. idk, bad year to start a rltnship. and anw my parents are so damn against it anw. but im HELL NOT a player. and i love my awesome jrs, we had such a special bond. really. school worl, damn, im getting the hang of GP, i think i just aced my common test. but my chem's getting better, and its time i start finding the key to unlocking my other subs too. TIME. i need time and inspiration. shooting, im not in nats again. wow. 6 years. u know how shitty that feels? seriously, its nt like i dont train hard or anything. i give my best. so anyway, i dont have to train at all till after nats? HOPEFULLY im reserve. still very very unlikely, given its COACH.... but i really hope to end my shooting career on a high with NUSIS? hopefully physio does wonders.PLEASE OH GOD. is it so damn hard to get a wish granted? life has always been unfair to me. time to make a change huh? and yea, i really think im good at being a psycologist. :D time to continue mugging. im so darn unproductive. i needa focus!!!

ciao